I can play the right notes but the groove still feels like we’re two people in the same room rather than one engine. What did locking in with a drummer actually feel like when it clicked - and what did you practise to get there?
Drummer here. Lock to the kick first, not the snare - find where their kick sits and glue your note onsets to it. Then practise to the same loop separately so you both reference one clock. The “one engine” feeling is mostly agreeing on where the beat actually is.
And record the two of you and listen back slowed down - you hear the rush/drag instantly. Saved my comping when I started doing it with our rhythm section.